Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
