Life is so much better after having sex.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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