I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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