I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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