apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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