I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
