The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
