I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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