Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
