i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
