I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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