how can u be prego again
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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