he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
