used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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