we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
