Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
