Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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