I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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