You're so nebulous sometimes
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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