omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
