So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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