i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
