I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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