I can text with my tongue
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
