Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I am one with the molecules
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
