Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
