the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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