Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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