if i can run in heels then i can drive
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
