i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
