You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
