So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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