So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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