Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I am one with the molecules
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
