I wish I could teleport
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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