Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
