Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i will never coherently bang her
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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