we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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