I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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