My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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