Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
