My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
