omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
