My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
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His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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