i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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