theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
