I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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