I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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