Taylor Swift is so right about you.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize