1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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