a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
