Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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