Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
