i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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