come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I need to stop coming to work sober
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
