Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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