You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
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Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
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That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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