she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
