i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
