Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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