my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
