He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
