i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
