yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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