So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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