Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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