Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
