glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
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