I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
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Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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