I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
People in love make me want to vomit
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
