Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
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EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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