are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he puts the penis in happiness.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
